literature

Javier and Arabella DRAFT

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Literature Text

"Wow. That was a great movie," Arabella said, she swung her legs off the bed. She combed through her hair with her fingers. It was messy but it wasn't tangled.

"It's my favorite," Javier replied. His brown eyes watched her as she pulled her boots on. "Are you going already?"

"I don't have to. I have a few briefs with me.  But I really need to get some work done. Actually, yeah I'm going to head back."

"Yeah I'm going to my friend's now." Javier said nonchalantly. He picked his hat off the dresser turning it in his hands. Even though it was winter his hair was still short and bristly.

"The days are packed, right?" Arabella said dryly.

"C'mon don't be mad." Javier tried to gently grab her waist but she swatted his hand away.

She turned her back to him and rummaged around the desk. Grimacing, she jokingly said, "Don't get mad, get glad! Jeez I don't even know who buys that brand. It's so expensive."

Arabella could feel Javier's eyes on her, travelling the memory of the week before when she had met him drunk. Sloppy kisses outside the bar over a shared cigarette. They had fogged up Layla's car windows. But physical pursuits weren't what glued Arabella to Javier.

Seen from the corner of her eye Javier's thick lips were pressed in a fine line. She continued to shove books in her purse as she collected her things off his desk. Javier remained perched the bed still watching Arabella.  

The bed creaked, Javier pressed his body into hers and rested his hands on the small of her back. She could feel his breath on her neck as he pushed her hair back. His hand crept up her shirt and across the front to grasp her breast. Arabella's knees buckled slightly into him. She bit her lip to stop herself from sighing. Lips trailed light kisses on her neck and ears, light nibbles started to fog her mind. Arabella reached back to his neck turning her head to fully take his lips. Javier moaned and grinded his hips slightly into hers.

"Javier," she murmured on his lips. "Not tonight."

"What?" Javier exhaled. He gave her hand a tight squeeze. His legs pushed her legs toward the bed.

Arabella turned to face him, "I have so much to do."

"So no?" He pouted, thick eyebrows furrowing.

Arabella touched the scruff on his cheek, "No."
This is just a twist on a personal story. It needs a lot of work. I just want to work with this scene. so how can i build a story arc into it?
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RipleyNox's avatar
To build a story arc, the main character needs or wants something. The more concrete the goal, the easier it is for the reader to understand. An obstacle stands in her path. Disaster strikes. She reacts, makes a decision. Then she acts.

These elements can me major or minor points, they can be hinted at or merely implied, but they are the elements of a story arc. Disaster doesn't have to be huge. It can be a call from her boss, saying she left her brief at work. Suddenly she can't have any nookie, and boy did she want some. That gives tension. Does she go get her work, or push it off for tomorrow and spend the night with her man? This is how you build character.

You've got a solid start here and a good visual storytelling style not geared toward long exposition. Take advantage of that and have them act and speak more. Throw obstacles in their way and see how they react. Keep working on it!